Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus" but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism’.
Government Economist virus: nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
New World Order virus: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.
Federal Bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disks into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all which claim to be the most important part of your computer.
Texas virus: Makes sure that it’s bigger than other file.
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple
Congressional virus#1: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message blaming the other side for the problem.
Congressional virus#2: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn’t allow the user to accomplish anything.
Airline virus: You’re in Dallas but your data is stuck in Singapore.
Freudian virus: your computer becomes obsessed with marrying itself to the motherboard.
Public Television virus: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.
Nike virus: Just does it.
Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat and lazy, self destructs only to resurface in some shopping malls or service stations in rural America.
Star trek virus : Invades your system where no other virus has gone before.
Health Care virus: Test your system for a day, finds nothing wrong and then sends you a bill for ,500.
Tagged with: adam and eve • airline virus • america star • computer locks • congressional virus • correct virus • diagnostic software • economist • electronic microorganism • elvis • federal bureaucrat • government economist virus • hard disks • new world order • nothing works • public television • self destructs • shopping malls • star trek • virus test
Filed under: Computer Diagnostic Software
lol, that’s the funniest thing I’ve read all day.
now that is too funny
LOL – Between you and She Dances With Love, I’m in stitches right now. *howls*
LOL!! LMAO!!! HA! HA! Oh, my,,,, I don’t get it?
I laughed at every one of ’em, bt i’m secretly hoping I don’t get any of them either hehe :))
Bull’s-Eye! Right on the money!
lol
mine http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index
Hahaha, these are funny. I think they are reflecting in comic relief the our time right now, yes.
So , You wanted a Kosher Computer
I don’t know if you know this but they are now selling Kosher computers (Made in Israel) called DELLSHALOM. It is selling at such a good price that I bought one. Mine arrived yesterday.
If you or a friend are considering a kosher computer, you should know that there are some important upgrades and changes from the typical computer you are used to, such as:
The cursor moves from right to left.
It comes with two hard drives–one for fleyshedik business software and one for milchedik games.
Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, my PC now gets "Ferklempt."
The Chanukah screen savers include "Flying Dreidels"
The PC also shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
After my computer dies, I have to dispose of it within 24 hours.
The "Start" button has been replaced with "Let’s go!! I’m not getting any younger!" button.
When disconnecting external devices from the back of my PC, I am instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC’s tuchus".
The multimedia player has been renamed to "Nu, so play my music already!".
Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right corner.
I hear "Hava Nagila" during startup. Microsoft Office now includes "A little byte of this, and a little byte of that."
When running "scandisk", it prompts with a "You want I should fix this?" message.
When my PC is working too hard, I occasionally hear a loud "Oy Gevalt"
There is a "monitor cleaning solution" from
Manischewitz that Advertises that it gets rid of the "schmutz und drek" on your monitor.
After 20 minutes of no activity, my PC goes "Schloffen."
Computer viruses can now be cured with some matzo ball chicken soup.
The Y2K problem has been replaced by "Year 5761-5762" issues.
If you decide not to shut down the computer in the prescribed manner, the following message appears: "You should be ashamed of yourself."
When Spellcheck finds an error it prompts "Is this the best you can do?
hahaha! Good one…Loved it…and yes…this might just be a Sign of the times! That is why …we need be careful and get a Kosher one! smile! (((hugs))) Brodda!