I have no anti-virus/ anti-spyware programs on my computer whatsoever. I need the absolute best anti-virus/ anti-spyware and Registry Cleaner Programs Available, that are UNDER each, and it has to be in the market(Staples, Home Depot, etc.) NOT on the internet. Oh and I don’t want the programs to slow down my computer too much like Norton/ McAfee. The reason why I don’t want to get the free anti-virus/ anti-spyware programs is because I know that they don’t get rid of all malicious files.
I do have a free registry cleaner(Ccleaner) but I don’t mind paying for a better one(as long as it’s under ).
If u could give me anything else that could improve my security(like firewall anti-malware), and as long as it’s under , that would be great :D. Thanks 4 your help

ok my computer wont let me sign on as soon i i get to the registry page it says tha i have the dll file that microsoft cant view. After that it shuts off what do i do PLEASE HELP FAST?

New Viruses on the loose!

Oprah Winfrey virus:
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

AT&T virus:
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

MCI virus:
Every three minutes it reminds you that you’re paying too much for the AT&T virus.

Politically Correct virus:
Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus:
Terminates and stays resident. It’ll be back.

Government Economist virus:
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

New World Order virus:
Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

Federal Bureaucrat virus:
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.

Texas virus:
Makes sure that it’s bigger than any other file.

Adam and Eve virus:
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

Congressional virus:
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

Airline virus:
You’re in Dallas but your data is in Singapore.

Freudian virus:
Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying to its own motherboard.

Public Television virus:
Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.

Elvis virus:
Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

Nike virus:
Just does it.

Congressional virus #2:
Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn’t allow the user to accomplish anything.

Star Trek virus:
Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.

Health Care virus:
Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for ,500.

*i dont know if i have a software or a hardware problem. this is what i see…

This portion of the Setup program prepares Microsoft(R) Windows(R) XP to run on your computer.

-To set up Windows XP now, Press Enter.
-To repair a Windows XP installation using Recovery Console, press R.
-To quit Setup without installing Windows XP, press F3.

If I hit ENTER, this is what it says:

The following list shows the existing partitions and unpartitioned space on this computer.

Use the UP and DOWN ARROW keys to select an item in the list.

-To set up Windows XP on the selected item, press ENTER.
-To create a partition in the unpartitioned space, press C.
-To delete the selected partition, press D.

Unknown Disk
(There is no disk in this drive.)
Unknown Disk
(There is no disk in this drive.)
Unknown Disk
(There is no disk in this drive.)
Unknown Disk
(There is no disk in this drive.)

if I hit D to delete the partitions(?), a blue screen pops up showing this:

A problem has been detected and Windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your computer.

If this is the first time you’ve seen this Stop error screen, restart this computer……

etc…etc… (I’m sure you know what this screen says)

Technical information:

*** STOP: 0x0000008E (0xc0000005, 0xf7418cad, 0xf6fd57e4, 0x00000000)
*** setupdd.sys – Address f7418cad base at f73ec000, DateStamp 41107c8f

I ran a registry cleaner yesterday thinking it might speed up my pc a bit, now after restarting my pc i have no start (task bar) and can not get on the internet. The task bar is not hidden, its just not there.

I get an error when i load windows saying "the specific module cannot be found" relating to a file i have never haerd of in windows\system32 – i think it was bkxalmll.dll I am on windows XP

Any help would be really appreciated